The Amazing Experience for Kids… Contribution!

I was thinking about the kinds of experiences we give our kids. We tend to look for programs (camps, tours, etc.) on the basis of “how much you get,” which includes an ample dose of entertainment and amusement activities. Now I want to say straight away, I’m no stranger to fun! It’s important that we have fun in life, whether it’s “fun” activities or putting fun into our everyday lives. And kids especially need fun and excitement.

But there’s also something to experiences that enrich children, where they give to others, work hard, learn and do a lot, and become a richer person for it. I want to offer two very “close” examples – my sons Daniel and Ilan.

This past summer, Daniel joined the Israel Defense Forces, choosing to enter a counter-terrorism unit. Suffice it to say it’s a different experience than if he went straight to college or another study program! He’s had to work extremely hard for the past 6 months, in physically grueling conditions. Just last week he finished his training, which culminated in a 40 km hike, carrying super heavy backpacks and practicing schlepping one another on stretchers. We went to his “beret ceremony” and all got so much nachas from his accomplishment. He’s given so much of himself, says it’s been the biggest challenge of his life so far. And yet he’s gained so much! He’s become more self-reliant, better able to deal with difficult situations (and people!), more self-disciplined, knows how to work with a team, where everyone depends on one another. These are invaluable life experiences! And of course he knows that the State of Israel needs an army and he’s doing his part. He’s part of something important and bigger than himself, and this makes him feel deeply satisfied and fulfilled.

I pray that his continued service is enriching, and that all the young soldiers like Daniel come back safe!

My son Ilan had an altogether different experience last summer. Rather than join a camp, he decided to take part in the Crossroads apprenticeship program and worked at Cofix, a retail food shop where everything costs 5 shekels. Ilan was a great worker. He got up early for early shifts and stayed up late for late shifts. He’s a fun, positive person to work with, helpful and quick, and they absolutely loved him there. He learned how to work under pressure, how to interact with customers, and be part of a team, not to mention learning responsibility, accountability and punctuality! I asked Ilan if he was he glad about his choice of summer activity, and he said, “A camp might have been more fun, but this was more fulfilling.” That pearl of wisdom came out of my 16-year-old!

Again, don’t get me wrong, we send our kids to camps and go out for fun activities. But there are other kinds of experiences we can give our kids. They don’t always need “more” or “bigger” or “better.” They also need experiences which are fulfilling, where they contribute to something and feel that they made a difference.

So I wish us all the blessing of finding things for our children (and ourselves!) to be involved with where we can give and contribute, stretch ourselves a bit, and feel a sense of deep satisfaction in return.